关于本书 About the book

Karl Pillemer teaches human development at Cornell University and is a professor of gerontology in medicine at the Weill Cornell Medical College. He is internationally renowned for his contributions to gerontology and insight into how people change over the course of their lives.

30 Lessons for Loving shares advice from hundreds of elderly people to reveal the secrets of building a long-lasting relationship, from first encounter to “happily ever after.” You’ll learn how to tell if your current crush might be “the one,” how to communicate in a healthy way and how to keep the passion alive in a long-term relationship.

本书金句 Key insights

● 当面临是不是要做出承诺的时候,听从心的呼唤十分重要。有一个至关重要的指标,那就是“坠入爱河”的感觉。如果你没有这种感觉,劝你一句,千万不要贸然与对方结婚。
- One indicator is especially crucial. It’s called the “in-love” feeling – and you should never marry someone if you don’t have it.

● 总之,要找到“对的人”,你不仅要听从心的呼唤,而且你也需要听从理性的呼唤。这就意味着,你要去了解你的伴侣,了解一下你们是不是有相同的目标,是不是有着同样的核心价值观。
- But having the “in-love” feeling isn’t enough to commit. You also need to listen to your rational mind.This means getting to know your partner to determine if you share the same goals and core values.

● 总之,牢记一点,那就是,我们并没有读心的能力,所谓的“心灵相通”只不过是一个传说。
- For example, plenty of long-time couples said that the idea that partners in love “just know” what the other one wants is a total myth. People just don’t see events the same way!

● 这些老年人却坚持认为,你们应该将婚姻放在第一位,即便是有了孩子。
- For this reason, older couples say to always put your marriage first, even if you have kids.

● 给爱人的礼物并不需要很繁琐,其实,赞美都能达到同样的效果!
- Gifts for your loved one don’t have to be tangible. Compliments work just as well!